I join the rest in worship
Beneath this vaulted ceiling
My life who knows who chose it?
My dreams have lost their meaning
This wooden bench it creaks
As I shift my weight in despair
Again he starts to speak
Of how we’re lucky to be here
The door why did they lock it?
I long to see outside
The key is in his pocket
I saw it with my eyes
The others’ eyes are closed with bliss
I needn’t wake them up
They found their peace in all of this
They fill this place with love
But the time has come to stand my ground
And pry that door right open
My fate is not to hang around
I’ll die before I’m broken


Only you can know what you truly want.

Doing what someone else expects of you, when it goes against what you desire, is a great injustice. Your own happiness must take precedence over making someone else happy to your detriment. An expected adherence to formalities and traditions can shackle you from experiencing the world on your own terms. When attempting to break free, doubt may be introduced by those demanding obedience because their expectations have not been met, and their loyalty and sacrifice has not been reciprocated. If they are sincerely in your corner, however, and genuinely care for what you believe, they should be able to find happiness through their own actions, not yours.

In the case of creative and honest expression, obediently following standards that have been previously set, or complying with instructions in fear of reprisal, suppresses your own sense of originality and discovery. Do not allow your own voice to be lost. The unique way your mind works is exactly what needs to be displayed to the rest of the world. If you are in a situation that doesn’t allow you to achieve this, and doesn’t provide a path for you to eventually get there, seriously consider whether it is where you want to be.

This does not mean you should ignore rules that are placed in front of you. Do not misinterpret this pattern as an excuse to rebel in such a way that it is negatively affecting others. But in the fundamental cases of how you live your life, and what you are going to attempt to accomplish, only you can decide what is most important.

Those who habitually obey often do not recognize when they are undesirably asking for obedience. It may be the case that you have found happiness in following the path that was laid out for you. That is wonderful and it should be celebrated! In fact, you really weren’t obeying at all because you came to terms with what you genuinely wanted for yourself.  That path would’ve been discovered by you anyway. But when you ask something of someone else, think carefully whether you are doing so because it is actually right for them, or because it happens to fit your interpretation of what is right for them. Small things are inconsequential. In a caring relationship, someone will most likely be more than happy to indulge those requests, knowing what it means to you. But when this creeps into the realm of asking for a life change, you are stripping them of their independence and individuality. In the end, your relationship will be worsened because you are giving them legitimate reason to resent you. Unconditional support when it comes to letting someone blaze their own trail is powerful for a relationship.


Situational Questions

  • Do you go to great lengths to assert your control over others? Is your influence so tenuous that it requires suppressing their freedom? If someone attempted to do this to you, what would your reaction be?
  • Do you subscribe to the notion of the absoluteness of your path? That there is no possible other way to reach a fulfilling end? When you look at someone else who disagrees, do you consider them lost, regardless of the merits of what they’ve chosen for themselves?


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